Cider Nine (Scrumpy Alert!)

Weston's Old Rosie Cloudy Scrumpy.

English; 7.3% Alcohol Content.

$7.50 (AUD); CellarBrations (East Fremantle, WA)

The day when I came face to face with a scrumpy cider was bound to come. In my opinion, scrumpy ciders taste as if they are regular ciders that have either been infused with vinegar or just left out in the sun for a few days. The official line (on the back of the bottle) is as follows: "A light, crisp, and dry lightly carbonated scrumpy cider. Allowed to settle out naturally after fermentation to retain its cloudy appearance." As you know by now, I really enjoy ciders that have that bit of sharpness added by carbonation and one of the most distinctive features of a scrumpy cider is the lack of fizz, so this union was doomed to fail. I do not think that I can accurately portray the taste of a scrumpy cider with my words, but it's not my cup of tea.

The one redeeming feature of scrumpy ciders might be the memory that they indirectly bring to mind. Back in college, a friend of mine, Zak, bought us some lemonade, but this was no ordinary lemonade; it was scrumpy lemonade. We had never heard of such a variation, but thought it was worth a shot. It was awful; in fact it was so bad and defamed the good name of lemonade so terribly that "scrumpy" became a word we used to generally describe things that were bad. Like, "Hey man, I've been coughing all night, I feel so scrumpy." Or maybe, "Ugh, look at this blister, it's full of pus and blood; it's so scrumpy!" You get the picture. At that time in my life I never thought that I would meet another scrumpy beverage, yet here I sit.

Rating 6.5 (Only this high because I can appreciate that if you were the kind of person who likes scrumpy ciders that you might like this one very much)

The Eighth Cider!

Magners Irish Cider.

Irish; 4.5% Alcohol Content.

$3.49 (AUD); Liquorland (Subiaco, WA)

Magners Irish Cider is one of the more popular ciders that is frequently available at pubs and bars near you. This familiarity with the common man is not coincidental, Magners has a very classic taste, moderately carbonated, a fair amount of apple (what's the adjectival form of apple? applicious? apply?), and enough of an aftertaste that you might not want to drink it without food (I did not necessarily mean that as a bad thing... just an observation). Magners is pretty good, but maybe the Irish should leave the cider to the English and stick to Guinness and Whisky.

Rating 8.2

Cider 7.

Weston's Premium Organic Cider.

English; 6.5% Alcohol Content.

$7.50 (AUD); CellarBrations (East Fremantle, WA)

Well, this is my first organic cider and probably not my last. The taste was very unique, almost scrumpy (slightly sour, a little more bitter) in a way, but certainly very apple- filled. The fact that it's organic must account for something of its interesting taste; I can't quite put my finger on it, but I definitely liked it. On a side note for all you budding alcoholics out there, this cider has a very high alcohol content to the tune of 3.3 standard drinks per bottle. Just putting it out there...

Rating 8.4

Six.

Stowford Press Traditional Draught Medium Dry Cider.

English; 4.5% Alcohol Content.

$7.50 (AUD); CellarBrations (East Fremantle, WA)

Stowford Press Traditional Draught Medium Dry Cider (SPTDMDC for short) is a pretty good pick for cider purists. SPTDMDC is not heavy, and has a perfect amount of apple taste, but is not quite as sharp as some of the other ciders I have sampled. An interesting aside: SPTDMDC is, "suitable for vegetarians, vegans, and coeliacs." If the price concerns you, never fear, this brew is 2.3 standard drinks and according to our friends at Stowford Press, is intended for sharing. SPTDMDC; the considerate cider.

Rating 8.1

Five Ciders Down, 95 Ciders to Go...

Monteith's Crushed Apple Cider.

New Zealand; 4.5% Alcohol Content.

$3.49 (AUD); Liquorland (Subiaco, WA)

Monteith's cider is a rarity for me; both crisp/ dry/ well carbonated enough, but also not too sweet; few cider makers seem to be able to find that perfect balance without tipping in favor of soda or apple juice. This cider has some hipster appeal (funky label, bottle looks as if it might have been constructed from recycled beer bottles past), but it doesn't cost seven bucks for a bottle because it's made in this hemisphere. All in all, a great cider experience, simple enough for a beginner to appreciate, but beautiful enough for a connoisseur to relish.

Rating 8.9

Cider Four

Aspall Crisp Draught Suffolk Cyder.

English; 5.5% alcohol content.

$7.99 (AUD); Vintage Cellars (Perth City, WA)

According to the back label of this longneck cider, Draught Suffolk Cyder (DSC) was, "created in 2003 to celebrate the Chevallier family's 275th year of cyder making in the parish of Aspall, Suffolk, England." Now with 282 years of "cyder" making under their collective belt, you would expect the Chevallier family to have created the perfect cider. The taste might be one of the more enjoyable that I have sampled with a good balance between sweetness and crispness, but there's still just something lacking because DSC is not very heavily carbonated. My wife adds, "it's a bit heavy."



Rating 8.3

Cider III

Little Creatures Pipsqueak; Best Cider.

Australian; 5.2% alcohol content.

$3.99 (AUD); Vintage Cellars (Perth City, WA)

Pipsqueak is manufactured by local restaurant/ brewery Little Creatures and I'd be lying if I told you that I don't associate this cider with all of the good times and good food I have consumed at their fine establishment. But, with that said, Pipsqueak is not even close to being my favorite cider. I appreciate the local-ness and corresponding trendiness, but I really like a sharper cider; Pipsqueak almost trends towards a scrumpy cider with it's relative lack of carbonation. Hate to put a damper on the Freo party, but unless I'm at Little Creatures, Pipsqueak is not a cider that I would go out of my way to attain.

Rating 7.5

The Second Cider

Toohey's Extra Dry 5 Seeds.

Australian, but made in New Zealand; 5.0% alcohol content.

$2.99 (AUD); Liquorland (Subiaco, WA)

There are several very interesting features of this cider, but the most prominent is the taste. I really like 5 Seeds! In the interest of full disclosure, 5 Seeds is my go-to cider; even though it's mass produced by a crappy beer company and most likely the least expensive cider I'll be able to buy in this country, it is my favorite beverage on a hot summer day. In fact, 5 Seeds encompasses everything the ideal cider should: very crisp, almost sharp in flavor (dry, as the name would suggest), a good amount of apple-ness, but not so much that it is sweet, and most importantly, light enough to be FANtastically refreshing. Oddly, the maker of 5 Seeds (Toohey's) is a proudly true blue Aussie brewer responsible for the Australian equivalent of Miller Lite, yet, they export the production of this fine cider to their southern neighbor, New Zealand. Not a strike against the cider, but an intriguing caveat. The final selling point for this cider is that the makers clearly do not take themselves too seriously. At the very bottom of the back label, underneath the barcode there is a little message that reads, "Serving Suggestion: Bloody Cold;" classic.

Rating 9.2

Cider Number One!

During 2011 I will find/drink/rate one hundred different hard apple ciders. I'll take you along for the ride one paragraph and beverage at a time. Now, in order to keep my ranking consistent I have introduced a few controls: I will drink all of the ciders by themselves (ie; not with different foods which could effect the taste), I will drink the ciders straight from the bottle (with the rare exception of when I might order a cider at a restaurant; but I don't think this will happen too often as the ciders served in restaurants are generally pretty standard and will get ticked off the list pretty quickly), and finally, each cider will be rated on a scale of 0 to 10, where ten is the best possible cider known to man and zero is something that I cannot even imagine consuming; honestly, I hope nothing is below a six.


Now, let's get down to business!

Rekorderlig Premium Apple Cider.

Swedish; 4.5% alcohol content.

$6.99 (AUD); Vintage Cellars (Applecross, WA)

I thought it fitting to commence my century of cider with a relatively exotic pick. Rekorderlig, however, is only singular in country of origin and label style; the taste is certainly pleasing, but nothing exceptional. It is sweeter than the average cider and has a slight aftertaste. My wife who will be a guest taster and rater from time to time says, "it tastes like apple juice." Take that for what it's worth, but in my books Rekorderlig is a good pick, but not the best, at least I hope not.

Rating 7.8